In his book, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, Dr. Deepak Chopra recommends meditating at least twice a day for 20 minutes. He says that meditating can help us to tap into a higher source that unlocks our power to manifest our deepest desires. As a result, we will start to notice small coincidences in our daily lives.
Pff! Yeah right! If I had that kind of time I’d spend it sleeping.
But before I throw the book onto the pile of other books I have no time to read, I decide to try something else. Every day I take Buddha Baby on a 40 minute walk. Maybe I could try “meditative walking.”
Meditative walking, I decide, is the combination of meditating while walking. I’ll clear my mind, breathe, and stay in the present moment. I’m pretty proud of myself for inventing the concept. Killing two birds with one stone and all. (I later Google it and find out it is already a term. Wynona Judd even lost 60 pounds by doing it and talked about it on Oprah.)
I leave as soon as Buddha Baby has finished eating and is ready for his afternoon nap. I’ve got the timing down to an actual science. If I leave a fraction of a nanosecond sooner or later, I will end up sprinting home with a screaming baby. Not very meditative.
The first part of the walk is positively fabulous. I am completely Zen as I listen to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. The golden leaves are dancing to the ground all around me.
I walk past a school and hear an ice-cream truck trolling through the neighborhood. Is there anything creepier than the sound of ice-cream truck music, I wonder?
Gently I release the thought. Must stay focused.
“Waaahhh!” Buddha Baby threatens.
Oh no. Don’t do this to me now!
He is adamant. No worries, I’ll put him to sleep and get back to my meditation.
Twenty minutes later, Buddha Baby is still crying. Rise above the noise, I tell myself. He’ll go to sleep eventually. I feel my blood pressure steadily rising.
I pass an elderly fellow who gives me a sympathetic smirk and says something inaudible.
Oh piss off, I think to myself, shooting him a reciprocal smile.
As I’m nearing the end of my walk, I see a woman approaching with a big yellow dog. As we’re about to pass each other, I turn onto a path that leads into a park and then eventually takes me home.
She turns onto the same path and we are walking side by side, her dog’s leash reaching far enough so that her dog is healing beside me, not her. This is awkward.
I smile and walk faster.
“Are you by chance Meditative Mom?” She asks.
I tell her I am and she tells me she is Baby Gate’s sister. I had forgotten she lives in the neighborhood too.
“What a coincidence!” she chimes. They have the exact same chirpy voice.
We chat about the weather. She seems nice. I wonder why Baby Gate doesn’t spend more time with her.
“Not a very good baby is he?” Baby Gate’s Sister says with a laugh, obviously referring to the crying.
That explains it.
I sprint home with my bad baby, leaving Baby Gate’s Sister in the dust.
If this is what Deepak Chopra means by coincidence, I’d rather not meditate.