You may have noticed that I’ve been a little absent recently. Typically I try to post at least every other day, but this week it just didn’t happen. I was way too busy ruining Christmas and then enjoying the fruits of my labor.
It is Thursday afternoon and I hear a knock at the door. Still in my pajamas, I briefly consider hiding, before remembering the last time I tried to pull a fast one on somebody who came to my door.
I answer and the FedEx guy hands me a box marked with Practical Joe’s name on it. I set it down on the kitchen table, deciding that I should wait until PJ gets home to find out what it is. After all, it’s his to open. Not mine.
Thirty minutes later and I cannot stop staring at the stupid box, wondering what’s inside. It’s probably something boring, like a car part or an energy saving light bulb (PJ is a huge advocate for
his checkbook the environment), but that doesn't curb my relentless curiosity.
Another five minutes goes by and I cannot stand it any longer. I have to know what’s inside. After all, what if it’s something dangerous, like anthrax or an explosive device. I can hardly just sit around waiting for it to blow up the neighborhood, can I?
I open the box and there it is (*sound of angels singing*). It’s a brand new iPad – the gift I had asked for, knowing full well that I wouldn’t get it. A pang of guilt comes over me and I quickly wrap it back up, deciding to pretend not to know about it.
Fast forward to an hour later and I am buying apps and drawing pictures on my BRAND NEW IPAD! (I still can hardly believe it.)
When PJ comes home, his jaw drops at the sight of me. I look up at him sheepishly, my eyes blood red from hours of internet activity.
“You opened your present!” he shouts at me.
I hang my head in shame. “I know, I’m so sorry. But I love it! Thank you so much, Babe! You are the best husband in the entire world! I'm SOOO lucky to have you!” (Pouring it on a little thick, I know. But I figure it can’t hurt in a situation like this.)
“I can’t believe you opened it! Couldn’t you at least have waited until I got home?”
(I don’t know why he’s so surprised. He knows I have the will power of Winona Ryder in a Bloomingdales.)
“It’ll just be an early Christmas for me… I just won’t have anything to open on Christmas day. And that’s okay, I don’t mind!” I say, floundering for words.
“You’ve ruined Christmas,” he tells me.
I decide to cheer him up with a special piece of iPad art work.