So I am pushing a cranky Buddha Baby through the mall one day and suddenly it dawns on me: I still have to do my Christmas shopping!
Now I love Christmas as much as the next person. The happy music, the pretty decorations, the warm family gatherings. There really is nothing like it. What I can’t stand though, is the shopping. Doing it feels like a chore and I never feel like I am buying quite the right thing for anybody.
As I am walking along thinking about it, I actually start to get really stressed up, realizing that not only must I do everything I did last year (come up with gift ideas for everyone, and then spend a month tracking those items down) I must do so while taking care of my unpredictably moody child!
At this point I wonder why having a baby doesn't exempt a person from having to do any Christmas shopping at all. After all, why should I have to endure the same lineups and dawdling mall walkers as the next childless single guy? I don’t have time for that. I have a baby! It hardly seems fair.
In my former life, I hated women like me. I would have called the future me self-centered and smug. (You know the type. She’s the pregnant lady who doesn’t go out anymore, simply because she’s pregnant.) For years I complained about this lady until one day I realized: I am her! And now that I have a baby, this new type of attitude doesn’t seem smug at all. It just seems reasonable.
For the rest of the day, I stress myself out trying to think of amazing gift ideas for people. There’s nothing more awkward than giving someone a gift and then seeing the hidden disappointment in their forced smile as they receive yet another pair of slippers. ("I only have eight pairs, but it's okay!" They'll say through gritted teeth.)
By the time Practical Joe comes home from work, I have exhausted myself trying to come up with clever gift ideas for everyone. (“Would my brother-in-law enjoy a banjo?”)
“What do you want for Christmas?” I ask PJ as soon as he walks through the door.
“I want my life back,” he responds.
(I know exactly what he means.)
“What do you mean,” I say? (I’m not about to let on.)
He tells me he wants to play video games in the basement like the old days.
“Done," I say, as I cross him off the list. "As long as you do it while the baby is sleeping," I add.
He rolls his eyes.
“Now don't you want to know what I want?” I say.
"I'm sure you're going to tell me."
Indeed I do.
I tell him that I want him to do the Christmas shopping this year. I’m sure everyone will end up with a gift card to Tony Roma's or some other God awful place, but I don’t even care.
I want my life back.
Namaste,
we did gift cards for everyone over 18 one year. it was the year we were finalizing our adoption. I ordered them online, and I had everyone's name embossed on them so that they looked like real credit cards. I even picked out cute winter designs for the cards and put them in adorable decorative boxes.
ReplyDeleteIt was the easiest christmas I ever had ... only I felt like crap because it is SO not like me to take the easy way out. My brother in law and his wife still get gift cards (because it's what they prefer), and people who ASK for them get them, but I am back to stressing over the perfect gift now ... because it feels better when I am done.
I'm not saying that is how it will work for you. My sister-in-law still does it every year with no qualms, for me it just didn't feel right.
... and this is coming from someone who does not like the holiday season. period.
I'm with you. I am NOT a shopper. Hooray for Amazon! shopping in my pjs with my coffee/stiff drink in hand...
ReplyDeleteI did 90% of my Christmas shopping on Amazon.com this year. We're mostly just buying presents for our daughters, and really, I don't have the time, or the energy to go walking around the mall or stores to buy Christmas presents, especially when both the girls are in tow. Not very secret. So now all I have to do is sit and wait for the mail/UPS men to deliver my packages. Easiest Christmas EVER!
ReplyDeleteROFL!!!! funniest thing EVER! I hate Christmas shopping to with a passion!
ReplyDeleteI totallly get this! I wrote a post earlier about the stress of getting The Toy for my son, and it was already gone from the shelves! Luckily, I found it. But seriously?! I need to worry about this the week after halloween?!
ReplyDeleteI say go the gift card route and cut yourself some slack.
Ha I haven't had to worry about Christmas shopping for a few years, that's the perks of not being able to afford it. Although next year will be different I may need help to remember how to Christmas shop!
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